According to a Buddism book on saying how a baby choose to be "he/she", it is relied on whether the baby likes the mother or father more. If the baby like the father more, then she will become a girl. That's why I also heard people saying: "a girl is the ex-lover of her father in earlier life". But, of course, it actually involves theory of causation too ( 因果)。
I really appreciate my father. He did not object when I chose to go for Private School - Chong Hwa High School. For about 2 years, every morning, he is the one, who woke me up, sent me to take bus, bought breakfast for me. Can imagine when it rains while we still need to go out by MOTOR CYCLE? If I were to follow the local school, he will not have so much trouble and can save quite a lot of money.
You know the wind breeze in early morning at Kahang (with lots of trees) when taking a motor cycle, it is like ice-cold. BUT... I felt so warm when hid behind his back. And right now, Fay's dad is the one who do the things that my father did. I believe when she grow up, this will be part of her sweet childhood memory.
As for me, the close relationship with my father seems to stop there. And drifted apart when he believe that I can be independent...I walked to bus stop with the neighbour boys, I bought my own breakfast. I moved to Kluang hostel...
**A famous educationist once said: PARENTS' LOVE is the ONLY love in the world with the purpose of separation. Because of LOVE, they have to let them go, let them be INDEPENDENT.
**Reference, extract from 于丹《论语》心得 —— 一个心理学博士在书的开头写：这个世界上所有的爱都以聚合为最终目的，只有一种爱以分离为目的，那就是父母的爱。父母真正成功的爱，就是让孩子尽早作为一个独立的个体从你的生命中分离出去。
2009年10月18日星期日
2009年10月16日星期五
影响我生命的第一号人物
我没上过幼稚园，父亲是我的启蒙老师，他的身教影响我非常大。别人在上课，我也在上课，只是地点是在橡胶园。
我不喜欢去胶园工作，蚊子多，又臭又脏兮兮的。爸爸总会买我爱吃的早餐来推动我，但我还是会赖床。小时候，爸爸载我，我在前面拔胶杯，爸爸割胶，到大一点，我学会驾摩托车 （没licence），也学会了如何割胶（和偷懒）。但我一直不是他的好帮手，我时常做白日梦，又没像姐一样刻苦耐劳。
我最喜欢休息时间了，这时爸爸会耐心地和我们聊天，教我们做人的道理，通过一些机会故事，灌输常识并启发我对浩瀚知识的好要心。
爸爸很关注时事，看报纸，听新闻是他每天的活动。而我也在他的影响下，养成了看报的习惯。开始时，虽然只是看小说版，但这和我至今还那么爱看书有着深切的关连。
小学时，有一件事，我几乎每年都要闹一次。我不想去胶园工作，所以希望能读早上班。成绩在前三名的我，总是会被按排到早上班，但爸爸总又会向校长申请回到下午班, 我就会懊恼不已。如今回想起来，结论是自己还真懒耶！
为了要逃避，也因为喜欢华语，我选择到銮中升学。在妈妈的支持下，爸爸就开始要每个月负担我的学费了。但是我还是得在周末时到胶园帮忙，也因为这样，没有机会参于我喜爱的制服团体（因为活动都在星期六）。
在高二时，姐踏入社会工作，间接给了我机会搬离kahang，来到居銮和她同住。可能这些都是非常难得的，我都会特别珍惜。加上遇到好的同学，越来越用心念书总算没辜负爸爸。高三那年，銮中宿舍刚建好，我又顺理成章地住进去。但过后却发生了一件大事。。。待续
我不喜欢去胶园工作，蚊子多，又臭又脏兮兮的。爸爸总会买我爱吃的早餐来推动我，但我还是会赖床。小时候，爸爸载我，我在前面拔胶杯，爸爸割胶，到大一点，我学会驾摩托车 （没licence），也学会了如何割胶（和偷懒）。但我一直不是他的好帮手，我时常做白日梦，又没像姐一样刻苦耐劳。
我最喜欢休息时间了，这时爸爸会耐心地和我们聊天，教我们做人的道理，通过一些机会故事，灌输常识并启发我对浩瀚知识的好要心。
爸爸很关注时事，看报纸，听新闻是他每天的活动。而我也在他的影响下，养成了看报的习惯。开始时，虽然只是看小说版，但这和我至今还那么爱看书有着深切的关连。
小学时，有一件事，我几乎每年都要闹一次。我不想去胶园工作，所以希望能读早上班。成绩在前三名的我，总是会被按排到早上班，但爸爸总又会向校长申请回到下午班, 我就会懊恼不已。如今回想起来，结论是自己还真懒耶！
为了要逃避，也因为喜欢华语，我选择到銮中升学。在妈妈的支持下，爸爸就开始要每个月负担我的学费了。但是我还是得在周末时到胶园帮忙，也因为这样，没有机会参于我喜爱的制服团体（因为活动都在星期六）。
在高二时，姐踏入社会工作，间接给了我机会搬离kahang，来到居銮和她同住。可能这些都是非常难得的，我都会特别珍惜。加上遇到好的同学，越来越用心念书总算没辜负爸爸。高三那年，銮中宿舍刚建好，我又顺理成章地住进去。但过后却发生了一件大事。。。待续
2009年10月8日星期四
The first - on my father
I love my father, but I do not have chance to tell him anymore.
As the second daughter of his, my birth did not bring him any surprise and maybe a bit disappointment as the fact that another grand-daughter to his mom means another "赔钱货".
Nevertheless, he did not reduce any love that he can give me. He gave the best education to me and everything he did are meant well.
My father was a hardworking man. He went for the main income source ie rubber-tapping in the morning and extra works in the afternoon.
Helping him (with rewards) was one major memory for my childhood.
My sister and I were called "peanut princess" as we always at the farm site with lots, lots and lots of peanuts.
We got rewards like 10 cents for seeding a row of peanut ; 20 cents for get rid of weeds; 10 cents for plucking a tin of peanut. I used to remember that the rewards for a big basket is RM1, however, we complaint that it was so difficult to fill it full. So my father changed his strategy and said every small tin for 10cents. By accumulating 10 small tins, we were then actually achieve our target (RM1). See this is my father's 善巧！
During the draught season, my father need to watering the plants to avoid reduction in crops. That of course is a tough task, but we cannot help much.
He normally build up a small "attap" hut for us to rest and play and as a shelter when raining. I remember his figure that he wore raincoat to pull out the plants (this action also requires a lot of energy) while we can just sit in the shelter.
Why am I writting this? I am trying hard to remember the time that I spend with him and write them down for my daughters who have not got any chance to see him.
As the second daughter of his, my birth did not bring him any surprise and maybe a bit disappointment as the fact that another grand-daughter to his mom means another "赔钱货".
Nevertheless, he did not reduce any love that he can give me. He gave the best education to me and everything he did are meant well.
My father was a hardworking man. He went for the main income source ie rubber-tapping in the morning and extra works in the afternoon.
Helping him (with rewards) was one major memory for my childhood.
My sister and I were called "peanut princess" as we always at the farm site with lots, lots and lots of peanuts.
We got rewards like 10 cents for seeding a row of peanut ; 20 cents for get rid of weeds; 10 cents for plucking a tin of peanut. I used to remember that the rewards for a big basket is RM1, however, we complaint that it was so difficult to fill it full. So my father changed his strategy and said every small tin for 10cents. By accumulating 10 small tins, we were then actually achieve our target (RM1). See this is my father's 善巧！
During the draught season, my father need to watering the plants to avoid reduction in crops. That of course is a tough task, but we cannot help much.
He normally build up a small "attap" hut for us to rest and play and as a shelter when raining. I remember his figure that he wore raincoat to pull out the plants (this action also requires a lot of energy) while we can just sit in the shelter.
Why am I writting this? I am trying hard to remember the time that I spend with him and write them down for my daughters who have not got any chance to see him.
2009年10月2日星期五
缘起。。
没想到自己会在现在就浸在佛法的大海里。以前，我以为学佛是给那些心灵缺乏寄托或是有困难，须要别人的帮忙的人才会做的事。像我那样忙（其实是没完善计划），没事又会找事来忙的人，怎么可能去学佛呢?
对我这个急功近利的人来说，没好处，我还真不愿花时间去呢！是啊！这个法财真是太棒了，盗贼偷不走，水火拿不掉！
感恩我的孩子，因为她们，我踏入了佛学会，原本只为观察那里是否有好的老师来教读经班，却发现了一个宝藏。
师父的理念和实践都让我折服。在这里的学员都把佛法用上了，并非只是书上写，口中念。在一次法会上，音响出了状况，没有人互相指责，而都尽力想办法补救。这和当天的其中一个项目--{观功念恩}分享，都实在令人赞叹。
在不如意的情形下，如何还会观别人的功德而不是看他的过错呢？以前，我知道的就是，感谢他给我的负面教材（加上一些埋怨）。现在呢？经过不断串习，心态上比较不烦也少了嘀咕而且感恩发自内心。（但对小孩就还没能做到？！）
这种快乐是用金钱都买不到的哦！
对我这个急功近利的人来说，没好处，我还真不愿花时间去呢！是啊！这个法财真是太棒了，盗贼偷不走，水火拿不掉！
感恩我的孩子，因为她们，我踏入了佛学会，原本只为观察那里是否有好的老师来教读经班，却发现了一个宝藏。
师父的理念和实践都让我折服。在这里的学员都把佛法用上了，并非只是书上写，口中念。在一次法会上，音响出了状况，没有人互相指责，而都尽力想办法补救。这和当天的其中一个项目--{观功念恩}分享，都实在令人赞叹。
在不如意的情形下，如何还会观别人的功德而不是看他的过错呢？以前，我知道的就是，感谢他给我的负面教材（加上一些埋怨）。现在呢？经过不断串习，心态上比较不烦也少了嘀咕而且感恩发自内心。（但对小孩就还没能做到？！）
这种快乐是用金钱都买不到的哦！
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