My father - the second

According to a Buddism book on saying how a baby choose to be "he/she", it is relied on whether the baby likes the mother or father more. If the baby like the father more, then she will become a girl. That's why I also heard people saying: "a girl is the ex-lover of her father in earlier life". But, of course, it actually involves theory of causation too ( 因果)。

I really appreciate my father. He did not object when I chose to go for Private School - Chong Hwa High School. For about 2 years, every morning, he is the one, who woke me up, sent me to take bus, bought breakfast for me. Can imagine when it rains while we still need to go out by MOTOR CYCLE? If I were to follow the local school, he will not have so much trouble and can save quite a lot of money.

You know the wind breeze in early morning at Kahang (with lots of trees) when taking a motor cycle, it is like ice-cold. BUT... I felt so warm when hid behind his back. And right now, Fay's dad is the one who do the things that my father did. I believe when she grow up, this will be part of her sweet childhood memory.

As for me, the close relationship with my father seems to stop there. And drifted apart when he believe that I can be independent...I walked to bus stop with the neighbour boys, I bought my own breakfast. I moved to Kluang hostel...

**A famous educationist once said: PARENTS' LOVE is the ONLY love in the world with the purpose of separation. Because of LOVE, they have to let them go, let them be INDEPENDENT.

**Reference, extract from 于丹《论语》心得 —— 一个心理学博士在书的开头写:这个世界上所有的爱都以聚合为最终目的,只有一种爱以分离为目的,那就是父母的爱。父母真正成功的爱,就是让孩子尽早作为一个独立的个体从你的生命中分离出去。




我不喜欢去胶园工作,蚊子多,又臭又脏兮兮的。爸爸总会买我爱吃的早餐来推动我,但我还是会赖床。小时候,爸爸载我,我在前面拔胶杯,爸爸割胶,到大一点,我学会驾摩托车 (没licence),也学会了如何割胶(和偷懒)。但我一直不是他的好帮手,我时常做白日梦,又没像姐一样刻苦耐劳。



小学时,有一件事,我几乎每年都要闹一次。我不想去胶园工作,所以希望能读早上班。成绩在前三名的我,总是会被按排到早上班,但爸爸总又会向校长申请回到下午班, 我就会懊恼不已。如今回想起来,结论是自己还真懒耶!




The first - on my father

I love my father, but I do not have chance to tell him anymore.

As the second daughter of his, my birth did not bring him any surprise and maybe a bit disappointment as the fact that another grand-daughter to his mom means another "赔钱货".

Nevertheless, he did not reduce any love that he can give me. He gave the best education to me and everything he did are meant well.

My father was a hardworking man. He went for the main income source ie rubber-tapping in the morning and extra works in the afternoon.

Helping him (with rewards) was one major memory for my childhood.

My sister and I were called "peanut princess" as we always at the farm site with lots, lots and lots of peanuts.

We got rewards like 10 cents for seeding a row of peanut ; 20 cents for get rid of weeds; 10 cents for plucking a tin of peanut. I used to remember that the rewards for a big basket is RM1, however, we complaint that it was so difficult to fill it full. So my father changed his strategy and said every small tin for 10cents. By accumulating 10 small tins, we were then actually achieve our target (RM1). See this is my father's 善巧!

During the draught season, my father need to watering the plants to avoid reduction in crops. That of course is a tough task, but we cannot help much.

He normally build up a small "attap" hut for us to rest and play and as a shelter when raining. I remember his figure that he wore raincoat to pull out the plants (this action also requires a lot of energy) while we can just sit in the shelter.

Why am I writting this? I am trying hard to remember the time that I spend with him and write them down for my daughters who have not got any chance to see him.